Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

A very merry Christmas morning to you!

While we are once again many miles apart on Christmas, may this brief note bring you a very "present" sense of my thoughts and prayers, praying that you may find calming peace and lasting joy throughout this season.

Surely the events of recent weeks have brought anxieties and fears, and shaken the security of that peace. I share with you a deep gratitude for Dad's continuing recovery, as well as for the skill and dedication of all those who have contributed to his care. I trust that his strength will continue to be restored bit by bit, and that together you will celebrate the gift of living each new day.

I want to be sure to thank you for calling me, for letting me know what was going on, for trusting me enough to lean on me a little, and for sharing with me some of the painful uncertainty of those frightening hours. It means a lot to me that you did not hide your concerns from me, and that you did not let the miles between us prevent you from reaching out, nor prevent me from offering what encouragement I could.

Christmas is always a time of deep reflection for me, even more this year than most. I am now about the age you were when you and Dad moved to California, and am perhaps beginning to grasp something of the wonder which that transition brought to your lives. It takes a lot of courage to follow new dreams at this stage of life, to risk releasing that which is familiar in order to embrace something promising and new. I hope you won't be offended if I admit I have never truly seen you as the adventurous type, but somehow, when it really matters, you have managed to find the strength and courage -- or maybe I should call it faith -- to follow your heart, and to move forward without hesitation or regret. That is an example I hope to be able to follow throughout my life, wherever God may lead.

I know that neither you nor I have finished facing uncertain futures and unforeseen transitions. You know me well enough to know that I will surely exercise my mind, trying to analyze and anticipate what may lie in the road ahead. But as age and experience contribute what they can, I am slowly learning that it is not so much the ability to anticipate change, but the ability to adapt to it, that leads to lasting peace. I am also learning that whatever uncertainties we may face, we never have to face them alone.

May you and Dad enjoy this Christmas day, and the promise of peace it brings, and may its joy bring with it bright hope for a healthy and happy new year.

Love,

Tom

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

On this Christmas morning, I wanted to greet you with words chosen slowly and phrases well-formed, in hopes that this simple epistle might somehow traverse the miles and years between us, and convey thoughts deeply held which I have long wished for you to know. Having finished fifty years of following your examples and reflecting upon your quiet influence, I now find myself both anxious and inadequate to express the admiration and appreciation I feel for the many virtues which you have both demonstrated and taught. I dare not attempt to name each one, but perhaps a few might illustrate the breadth -- if not the depth -- of the legacy which I now proudly claim.

First, without hesitation, I must note with deep respect the unwavering commitment you have shown toward mom through the years. Despite obvious differences in disposition -- and a few rare but well-remembered disagreements -- your devotion to her has never appeared in doubt. Without question, your faithfulness to your marriage has inspired my faithfulness to mine. Far below the level of conscious consideration, I am convinced that my reactions to conflict and tension have been molded and shaped by the calm and patient patterns which you established. And if I may dare extend my hope so far, I believe my children have also been blessed -- and will continue to be be blessed -- by my efforts to imitate you.

Second, and perhaps related to the first, I have been forever strengthened by the steadiness and trustworthiness of your resolve. Were I brave enough to tease (and clearly I am not), I might timidly suggest a slight tendency toward stubbornness or obstinacy, but the truth beneath the tease would be obvious to all - that your unshakable persistence has provided a firm foundation undergirding diverse endeavors. What few risks I have taken in my life, I have taken knowing that within my inherited character lies the capacity to persist and to endure. My passion to pursue impossible dreams is anchored in the confidence I have seen in your face, and which (I hope) my children now see in mine.

Lastly, only because my words near exhaustion, I must attempt to affirm your distinctive discipline of mind, that unquenchable curiosity -- combined with a cautious consideration of conflicting views -- that is neither cynical nor naive, but always eager to contemplate (and challenge) a novel thought. Although the philosophy which has formed in me is not very different from what I know of yours, it is not the content of my beliefs that I attribute to you, but rather how I have learned to think -- to formulate, question, and refine ideas -- from contrasting my thoughts with yours.

I will always think of you as a man of few words -- perhaps because my excesses in verbosity form such a stark contrast. But what I have learned and gained from you has not been contained in words, but in the consistent character of a quiet life well-lived. Thank you for the depth of character that you have shared with me, and will continue to share.

Merry Christmas.

Love,

Tom